It's 2 a.m. in Beaconsfield, and sleep has abandoned me once again. But sometimes these sleepless nights bring something worth keeping.  Like the impulse to finally start this page. To share a little piece of me along the way with anyone who cares to read.

Let me be clear from the start: there's no agenda here. No call to action, no sales pitch, no carefully crafted marketing message. Just me, exactly where I am in my journey, processing my life one day at a time.

And God, I wish I could actually do "one day at a time." I'm working on it, I really am. But my natural tendency is to take off these massive bites and chew, chew, chew until I inevitably have to spit some out because it's just too much. That's very much the road I'm on today.

I'll be 55 this summer. And for 50 of those year, yes, you read that right, I've been overweight. The last 25 years, at least, I've lived in the obese to morbidly obese category. Obesity Class III, if we're using the clinical terms.

I've done it all. The diets, the shakes, the injections, the mindset work, the 12-step programs. All of it. So in August 2023, I finally put myself on the wait list for bariatric surgery. In March 2025, I had my first appointment. And on June 11, 2025, I had my RNY gastric bypass.

But wait, there's more. (And no, that's not a sales pitch, just my life being characteristically extra.)

I'm currently on cycle day 220. Yes, you read that correctly too. I haven't had a period since May 31st. Trust me, I'm not complaining, but it does mean I'm full-on in perimenopause now. So as we sit together in this space, we'll be navigating that journey too.

My two sons are now adults—almost 23 and 19. I'm moving from "Mom" to "bruh," and let me tell you, the interactions are very different from the ones I've had before. It's an adjustment, to say the least.

Life is looking very different for me these days. This journey is about many things layered on top of each other: recovery from shame and food addiction (an ongoing battle), hormonal changes that make me feel like a stranger in my own body, adult children who don't need me in the same ways anymore, and somehow, in the midst of it all, creating and producing a podcast, building a website, and running a tarot reading business on the side.

All while working full-time, four days a week, for someone else.

So here I am, trying to navigate it all.

I would love for you to take this ride with me. Maybe you'll find comfort in knowing you're not alone in this phase of life. Or maybe you'll get a glimpse of what you have to "look forward to" and I use those quotation marks with all the irony and affection they can hold.

Either way, welcome. I'm glad you're here.